How do you talk to yourself? Do you scold yourself, or are you kind? If the former, it may be time to try a little tenderness. Research shows that self-compassion is an instrumental step in elevating our physical, mental and emotional health.

What is self-compassion? It’s the way we think about ourselves when we make mistakes or fail. Researcher Kristin Neff breaks self-compassion into three parts: being aware of negative thoughts and actively working to overturn them; recognizing that all humans are imperfect, including ourselves; and not berating ourselves for feeling negative emotions or imperfection.

Studies find that when we aren’t kind to ourselves, we can exacerbate physical, mental and emotional health conditions. Anxiety and depression spikes, stress increases and heart rates elevate. By reframing the way we speak to ourselves, we can overturn these negative effects. Studies also find that self-compassionate people are more likely to exercise, stick to their weight loss goals and kick harmful habits, such as smoking or excessive drinking.

So how do you show yourself more kindness?

First, be aware of your thoughts. Our thoughts are often exaggerated and distorted versions of the truth, so be aware of how you think about yourself. Also, quit ruminating. When you make a mistake, instead of replaying the event again in your head, distract yourself with physical activity and determine the concrete ways you can improve in the future.

Finally, think of yourself as a friend. You wouldn’t be rude or critical to a friend, so why would you to yourself? Actively showing yourself kindness will go a long way in improving your overall health.